You Are Now Manually Breathing

by Mortimer Nova (2014)

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about

Composed of synthesizers, samples, drum machines and noise, this is the first all digital release from the Tampa band. Dealing with issues from heroin addiction to spousal abuse follow the normal standard for the band in the most powerful album to date!

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released May 4, 2014

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Mortimer Nova Tampa, Florida

Mortimer Nova is an experimental indie / anti-folk / indietronic group fronted by Michael Vilches based out of the Tampa Bay area in Florida. Mortimer Nova was ranked #14 on Non-Hollywood's "25 Indie Music Artists Worth Paying For" poll in 2014.

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Track Name: The Chiropractor's Wife
please don't suffocate me my love
please don't call the police my love
please don't implicate me my love
no time for hesitation my love
Track Name: French Malaise
mon ami
a life of pity
you are now
manually breathing

forcing your blinking from the overburdened grind
no longer swallowing, paranoid and blind
insomniatic madness, a malfunctioning mind
untreated, unreachable, unbeloved, unkind

the hole in the wall that you crawled out of
the neck of the bottle that you crawled out of
the x-rated world that you crawled out of
the life after dark that you crawled out of

maddening, robotic tears
more dangerous, genuine fears
blasphemous, combative
i'll never know why i was so in love

accost with bad manners for societal display
assembling your bad words, affirming what they say
serpent like destruction with nowhere left to stay
your transparent love, your obvious malaise

the tip of the straw that you crawled out of
the point of the needle that you crawled out of
the smoke from the pipe that you crawled out of
the steam of the stem that you crawled out of

but have you seen me lately and have you seen yourself
and have you seen your parents and have you seen yourself
and have you seen the children and have you seen yourself
and have you seen your lover who hasn't seen your self

the ice melts slow
and it takes so long
and i've got love
but i'm not that strong

but have you seen your sister and have you seen yourself
and have you seen your mother and have you seen yourself
and have you seen your preacher and have you seen yourself
and have you seen your doctor who hasn't seen your self

i've got a map
i've got a gun
i've got a light as bright as the sun
as bright as the sun

the hole in the wall that you crawled out of
the neck of the bottle that you crawled out of
the x-rated world that you crawled out of
the life after dark that you crawled out of

the shock from the shell that you crawled out of
the bucket in the well that you crawled out of
the thread from the sock that you crawled out of
the sand from the glass that you crawled out of

i've got a light as bright as the sun
as bright as the sun
Track Name: Do You Have A Minute
i saw a bird carrying a small rock around
he flew from the tree right back to the ground
so i got closer and he didn't want to move
and then i noticed that he was carrying the moon

little bird, please don't drop the moon
it's supposed to stay in the sky like a little white balloon
we know we need it, but we don't know just how soon
so little bird, please don't drop the moon

another bird, flew down to the floor
in this one's beak was something different than before
it seemed so small from far away, not anymore
he was holding planet earth, from the oceans to the shore

little bird, please don't drop the earth
it's mostly beauty here with a little bit of hurt
we are so young, we've only just had our rebirth
so little bird, please don't drop the earth

and yet another bird came flying to my feet
he looked unhappy, but still had something in his beak
it was the sun which the bird began to eat
then he exploded 'cause the sun is a really really really really hot ball of gas

little birds, these things belong in space
you've had your fun but put everything back in it's place
the world is changing which we just have to embrace
so little birds, put these things back into space
Track Name: Twelve Long Hours
wake up at the
crack of dawn, it's my time
to wade through sickness
where's my phone, make some calls
and find a pusher
who is close, and awake
so i can get this
tearing up, and shivering
to cease and desist
any way, possible
because this melting feeling's
so irritating, so my
feet start moving, to the
closest haven
where i can get some relief

seems like i'm always walking
to one dealer or another
'cause i can't ever get enough

my head is aching
and of course, so's my arms
but i'm salivating
because so soon, i will have
a filled up needle
bright and blue, all for me
but not soon enough
it's never soon enough
it's never soon enough
it's never soon enough

junk sick
for twelve long hours

seems like i'm always walking
to one dealer or another
'cause i can't ever get enough
there's never enough
Track Name: Paramount
can you tell me how we can trade places
the world is dark with so many blank faces
if we're being true, i'm envious of you
if i could shut my mind off or simply just erase it
i've lost the feeling for passionate embraces
i feel disgusting, wish i never was created

it would be heavenly, so heavenly
to be simplistic and ordinary
to be ignorant, unaware of oneself
the only answer is to kill myself

progress and move on
i'm out of step here, i'm too far gone
this worlds not somewhere that i belong

i'm fidgeting again and i can't stop
my teeth chatter and my knees begin to knock
the sweating's starting, the pain's back in my wrists
but you don't notice because to you i don't exist

but don't look at this as my final thoughts
the fear of losing you is too great of a loss

it is heavenly, so heavenly
to feel so wanted and know it's you and me
to be aware that you are always there
kills off the feelings to kill myself

it is heavenly, so heavenly
to feel so wanted and know it's you and me
to be aware that you are always there
kills off the feelings to kill myself
Track Name: Lowest Common Denominator
i feel it working
do you think it's working
no it's not working
Track Name: Her Aluminum Eyes
woah you really make me guess
oh about the things that you get into
and i don't have time to check
yeah that what you say is true

is it really
the truth
is what you say
the truth

flippin' floppin' lookin' all around
look at me, get your eyes off the ground
it's reaching out, it's pulling off
it's off

yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah are
you a pacifist or a masochist
are you a spring time whirlwind terrorist
can you remember when you had a friend
who didn't
think you were
a threat
a national
terrorist

flippin' floppin' lookin' all around
look at me, get your eyes off the ground
it's reaching out, it's pulling off
it's off

it's difficult to communicate with your fingers in your ears
it's impossible to carry on with you when you won't open your eyes

am i asking the wrong questions
or are you teaching me a lesson
or you just like that i'm guessin'

i'm not a toy
Track Name: Slender
walk that walk
and talk that talk
because everyone can hear and see
you're as ignorant as me

your manager
will feed you everything but food
because you can't risk that figure
and can't risk that attitude

ohhh, the model
she lives off the bottle

your perfect skin
your perfect face
is hiding a sickness
in a perfect place

your body is a temple
that can't be desecrated
except for surgeries and strings
so you can be masqueraded

ohhh, the model
she lives off the bottle
ohhh, the model
her life is so hollow

i can't understand
i can't comprehend
this life of consequence

ohhh, the model
she lives off the bottle
ohhh, the model
her life is so hollow
ohhh, the model
she's every woman's idol
ohhh, the model
ohhh, the model

wither away
Track Name: Save It
you're so uninterested
if it doesn't pertain to you
so i don't know why i even bother
i'll just handle it myself

save your breath
we're wasting too much of our time
on something that's so trivial
it isn't that it's cumbersome
it's just that there are lives at stake

you can regurgitate
all the things that you've been fed
so i don't know why i even bother
if your memory's so good

save my breath
you're wasting all my energy
on something you deem meaningless
it isn't that i do not care
it's just that there are lives at stake

the kids
and the gunmen
the kids
and the gunmen

there are no hostages
just unwilling participants
in life there are no second chances
just failing the first time

step back for just a sec
it's not like it's going anywhere
i don't know why we even bother
if it doesn't effect us

save what breath
we're not putting ourselves at risk
i've got too many things at stake
a car, a dog, a house, a job
even if there are those lives at stake

the kids
and the gunmen
the kids
and the gunmen

we are so selfish
that this is how we think
in life there are no second chances
just failing the first time
Track Name: Paint By Numbers
i'm going on the 4th day of staring at the ceiling
it's funny how our eyes perceive things when we stop blinking
it's by my choice, or at least i think it is
but i've become somewhat aware that i can't move my hands

screaming from the inside
it's driving me crazy
shouting when no one hears
it's maddening, it's maddening

i'm stuck inside a coma
i can see but i'm still blind
i tried so hard to be alive
i can't get outside my mind

the paralysis is the hardest part when you only want to move
and ideas form and then slip away 'cause i can't get them out
the people i love are just within my reach
but i'm stuck in this place with a person i hate, we've just never got along

screaming from the inside
it's driving me crazy
shouting when no one hears
it's maddening, it's maddening

i'm stuck inside a coma
i can see but i'm still blind
i tried so hard to be alive
i can't get outside my mind
i'm stuck inside a coma
i can look but i can't find
if only i could change the past
i can wish but i won't die

he's stable again
he's on the table again
he's unconscious again
he's unstable again

i can only vaguely remember what put me here
i know i was in the bathroom hiding from my friends
and then it clicked and i felt sick and my stomach began to twist
i forced a hot shot on myself and then i cut my wrists

i'm stuck inside a coma
i can see but i'm still blind
i tried so hard to be alive
i can't get outside my mind
i'm stuck inside a coma
i can look but i can't find
if only i could change the past
i can wish but i won't die
Track Name: The Ghost That Seduced Me
we slip the sheets, we hardly meet, we lay together
you hover along the bed, and float just like a feather
can't feel my teeth, can't feel your feet, lust so unmeasured
and with a whisper, you can't speak, you're into pleasure

let's make our own language

feel it, don't feel it, pretend you want to conceal it
feel it, don't feel it, open up and reveal it

ohh ohh, oh woah, oh ohh

1, 2, 3, 4 5
in silent darkness i still feel alive
can't feel your hands, can't feel you stand and walk away
and as you're leaving i can hear you say

let's make our own language

feel it, don't feel it, trying to be concealing
feel it, don't feel it, but you can't help be revealing
feel it, don't feel it, blinking hard at the ceiling
can't feel my teeth, can't feel your feet, and while you're kneeling
feel it, don't feel it, your neck goes back while you're squealing
Track Name: Sin With Me
capo 3

-11-10-5-
-11-11-6-
-12-12-7-
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---------
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we make believe together
with our fondled strange love
your cradle is decaying
kissed confusion

memories are a mirror

your envelope spills ink stains
so you move away
and the blood that drips from your lips
while our innocence rips

memories are a mirror

you would drag me to the devils door
to pay your penance
this knowledge is a burden
for our lost innocence

memories are a mirror
memories

can you admit your guilty
and you're the one that's at fault
you think you are a snowflake
but you're an icicle

memories are a mirror
memories are a mirror

i have nothing else to lose
you've got nothing else to lose
when there's nothing else to lose
sin with me
Track Name: The Carrion Bird
the flesh is so tired
and is absent to the brain
and the wheel spins round and round and round
to come around again

i'm careening
out of control
i'm careening
i've lost control again

it's not your fault
it was bound to happen
and my mind goes round and round and round
and i've fallen off again

i'm careening
out of control
i'm careening
i've lost control again

so i try to walk away
but it's calling me back
and this vicious cycle goes round and round round
until i lose it all again

i'm careening
out of control
i'm careening
i've lost control again

i've lost control again
Track Name: The Fall
i used to brace for the excitement of impossibility
but suggestion can be met with such hostility
there are things i'm grateful for and reflect on with a certain pity
i don't miss wandering with sickness through the open city
or nervous break downs, or frivolity
the fall of my demon, my hopeless misery

it's just human nature, it's just human nature
it isn't your fault, that's what they all said
it's just human nature, it's just human nature
if that was the case, we'd all be in this place
they lie, they lie

i think less fondly of uncivilized unnatural feelings
since i was able to relieve myself of dirty dealings
and still i wonder how my life could have ended up being
had i continued on a path of lies and drugs and stealing

the fall of my demon, my constant skin peeling
the needle drugs, that fix, that sting, the devil's ceiling
the fall of my demon, it is so unappealing
to think about, to re-enact, to know it was me

i almost lost it all

it's just human nature, it's just human nature
it isn't your fault, that's what they all said
it's just human nature, it's just human nature
if that was the case, we'd all be in this place
it's just human nature, it's just human nature
it isn't your fault, that's what they all said
they lie, they lie

i hope if nothing else my son learns one thing from my mistakes
no pills, no heroin, no opiates, not even one chance
because i couldn't stand to see what my wife saw in me
in my flesh and blood with a predisposition thanks to his dear old dad

thanks to his dear old dad
but i'm still his dear old dad
'cause i could have been
his dead old dad
Track Name: You Covered Your Mouth
i came home and heard you cry
so i walked into the room
and when i looked up on the bed
your bags were out, your clothes were packed, you're leaving

is it something i did
is it something i said
is it something i can change

but you said
it's not your fault, mistakes are mine, i'm broken

you covered your mouth
i can't hear what you're saying

but i can guess you're walking away
and i guess you just can't stay
don't let your history
repeat itself, you're not the girl, you once were

you covered your mouth
i can't hear what you're saying
and you covered your face
but i can hear you praying

you don't have to go
i can see what's happened
no judgements passed

you covered your mouth
i can't hear what you're saying
and you covered your face
but i can hear you praying
but you don't have to speak
i know that you're not staying