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You Are Now Manually Breathing

by Mortimer Nova (2014)

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1.
please don't suffocate me my love please don't call the police my love please don't implicate me my love no time for hesitation my love
2.
mon ami a life of pity you are now manually breathing forcing your blinking from the overburdened grind no longer swallowing, paranoid and blind insomniatic madness, a malfunctioning mind untreated, unreachable, unbeloved, unkind the hole in the wall that you crawled out of the neck of the bottle that you crawled out of the x-rated world that you crawled out of the life after dark that you crawled out of maddening, robotic tears more dangerous, genuine fears blasphemous, combative i'll never know why i was so in love accost with bad manners for societal display assembling your bad words, affirming what they say serpent like destruction with nowhere left to stay your transparent love, your obvious malaise the tip of the straw that you crawled out of the point of the needle that you crawled out of the smoke from the pipe that you crawled out of the steam of the stem that you crawled out of but have you seen me lately and have you seen yourself and have you seen your parents and have you seen yourself and have you seen the children and have you seen yourself and have you seen your lover who hasn't seen your self the ice melts slow and it takes so long and i've got love but i'm not that strong but have you seen your sister and have you seen yourself and have you seen your mother and have you seen yourself and have you seen your preacher and have you seen yourself and have you seen your doctor who hasn't seen your self i've got a map i've got a gun i've got a light as bright as the sun as bright as the sun the hole in the wall that you crawled out of the neck of the bottle that you crawled out of the x-rated world that you crawled out of the life after dark that you crawled out of the shock from the shell that you crawled out of the bucket in the well that you crawled out of the thread from the sock that you crawled out of the sand from the glass that you crawled out of i've got a light as bright as the sun as bright as the sun
3.
i saw a bird carrying a small rock around he flew from the tree right back to the ground so i got closer and he didn't want to move and then i noticed that he was carrying the moon little bird, please don't drop the moon it's supposed to stay in the sky like a little white balloon we know we need it, but we don't know just how soon so little bird, please don't drop the moon another bird, flew down to the floor in this one's beak was something different than before it seemed so small from far away, not anymore he was holding planet earth, from the oceans to the shore little bird, please don't drop the earth it's mostly beauty here with a little bit of hurt we are so young, we've only just had our rebirth so little bird, please don't drop the earth and yet another bird came flying to my feet he looked unhappy, but still had something in his beak it was the sun which the bird began to eat then he exploded 'cause the sun is a really really really really hot ball of gas little birds, these things belong in space you've had your fun but put everything back in it's place the world is changing which we just have to embrace so little birds, put these things back into space
4.
wake up at the crack of dawn, it's my time to wade through sickness where's my phone, make some calls and find a pusher who is close, and awake so i can get this tearing up, and shivering to cease and desist any way, possible because this melting feeling's so irritating, so my feet start moving, to the closest haven where i can get some relief seems like i'm always walking to one dealer or another 'cause i can't ever get enough my head is aching and of course, so's my arms but i'm salivating because so soon, i will have a filled up needle bright and blue, all for me but not soon enough it's never soon enough it's never soon enough it's never soon enough junk sick for twelve long hours seems like i'm always walking to one dealer or another 'cause i can't ever get enough there's never enough
5.
Paramount 03:57
can you tell me how we can trade places the world is dark with so many blank faces if we're being true, i'm envious of you if i could shut my mind off or simply just erase it i've lost the feeling for passionate embraces i feel disgusting, wish i never was created it would be heavenly, so heavenly to be simplistic and ordinary to be ignorant, unaware of oneself the only answer is to kill myself progress and move on i'm out of step here, i'm too far gone this worlds not somewhere that i belong i'm fidgeting again and i can't stop my teeth chatter and my knees begin to knock the sweating's starting, the pain's back in my wrists but you don't notice because to you i don't exist but don't look at this as my final thoughts the fear of losing you is too great of a loss it is heavenly, so heavenly to feel so wanted and know it's you and me to be aware that you are always there kills off the feelings to kill myself it is heavenly, so heavenly to feel so wanted and know it's you and me to be aware that you are always there kills off the feelings to kill myself
6.
i feel it working do you think it's working no it's not working
7.
woah you really make me guess oh about the things that you get into and i don't have time to check yeah that what you say is true is it really the truth is what you say the truth flippin' floppin' lookin' all around look at me, get your eyes off the ground it's reaching out, it's pulling off it's off yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah are you a pacifist or a masochist are you a spring time whirlwind terrorist can you remember when you had a friend who didn't think you were a threat a national terrorist flippin' floppin' lookin' all around look at me, get your eyes off the ground it's reaching out, it's pulling off it's off it's difficult to communicate with your fingers in your ears it's impossible to carry on with you when you won't open your eyes am i asking the wrong questions or are you teaching me a lesson or you just like that i'm guessin' i'm not a toy
8.
Slender 03:45
walk that walk and talk that talk because everyone can hear and see you're as ignorant as me your manager will feed you everything but food because you can't risk that figure and can't risk that attitude ohhh, the model she lives off the bottle your perfect skin your perfect face is hiding a sickness in a perfect place your body is a temple that can't be desecrated except for surgeries and strings so you can be masqueraded ohhh, the model she lives off the bottle ohhh, the model her life is so hollow i can't understand i can't comprehend this life of consequence ohhh, the model she lives off the bottle ohhh, the model her life is so hollow ohhh, the model she's every woman's idol ohhh, the model ohhh, the model wither away
9.
Save It 04:07
you're so uninterested if it doesn't pertain to you so i don't know why i even bother i'll just handle it myself save your breath we're wasting too much of our time on something that's so trivial it isn't that it's cumbersome it's just that there are lives at stake you can regurgitate all the things that you've been fed so i don't know why i even bother if your memory's so good save my breath you're wasting all my energy on something you deem meaningless it isn't that i do not care it's just that there are lives at stake the kids and the gunmen the kids and the gunmen there are no hostages just unwilling participants in life there are no second chances just failing the first time step back for just a sec it's not like it's going anywhere i don't know why we even bother if it doesn't effect us save what breath we're not putting ourselves at risk i've got too many things at stake a car, a dog, a house, a job even if there are those lives at stake the kids and the gunmen the kids and the gunmen we are so selfish that this is how we think in life there are no second chances just failing the first time
10.
i'm going on the 4th day of staring at the ceiling it's funny how our eyes perceive things when we stop blinking it's by my choice, or at least i think it is but i've become somewhat aware that i can't move my hands screaming from the inside it's driving me crazy shouting when no one hears it's maddening, it's maddening i'm stuck inside a coma i can see but i'm still blind i tried so hard to be alive i can't get outside my mind the paralysis is the hardest part when you only want to move and ideas form and then slip away 'cause i can't get them out the people i love are just within my reach but i'm stuck in this place with a person i hate, we've just never got along screaming from the inside it's driving me crazy shouting when no one hears it's maddening, it's maddening i'm stuck inside a coma i can see but i'm still blind i tried so hard to be alive i can't get outside my mind i'm stuck inside a coma i can look but i can't find if only i could change the past i can wish but i won't die he's stable again he's on the table again he's unconscious again he's unstable again i can only vaguely remember what put me here i know i was in the bathroom hiding from my friends and then it clicked and i felt sick and my stomach began to twist i forced a hot shot on myself and then i cut my wrists i'm stuck inside a coma i can see but i'm still blind i tried so hard to be alive i can't get outside my mind i'm stuck inside a coma i can look but i can't find if only i could change the past i can wish but i won't die
11.
12.
we slip the sheets, we hardly meet, we lay together you hover along the bed, and float just like a feather can't feel my teeth, can't feel your feet, lust so unmeasured and with a whisper, you can't speak, you're into pleasure let's make our own language feel it, don't feel it, pretend you want to conceal it feel it, don't feel it, open up and reveal it ohh ohh, oh woah, oh ohh 1, 2, 3, 4 5 in silent darkness i still feel alive can't feel your hands, can't feel you stand and walk away and as you're leaving i can hear you say let's make our own language feel it, don't feel it, trying to be concealing feel it, don't feel it, but you can't help be revealing feel it, don't feel it, blinking hard at the ceiling can't feel my teeth, can't feel your feet, and while you're kneeling feel it, don't feel it, your neck goes back while you're squealing
13.
Sin With Me 02:36
capo 3 -11-10-5- -11-11-6- -12-12-7- --------- --------- --------- we make believe together with our fondled strange love your cradle is decaying kissed confusion memories are a mirror your envelope spills ink stains so you move away and the blood that drips from your lips while our innocence rips memories are a mirror you would drag me to the devils door to pay your penance this knowledge is a burden for our lost innocence memories are a mirror memories can you admit your guilty and you're the one that's at fault you think you are a snowflake but you're an icicle memories are a mirror memories are a mirror i have nothing else to lose you've got nothing else to lose when there's nothing else to lose sin with me
14.
the flesh is so tired and is absent to the brain and the wheel spins round and round and round to come around again i'm careening out of control i'm careening i've lost control again it's not your fault it was bound to happen and my mind goes round and round and round and i've fallen off again i'm careening out of control i'm careening i've lost control again so i try to walk away but it's calling me back and this vicious cycle goes round and round round until i lose it all again i'm careening out of control i'm careening i've lost control again i've lost control again
15.
The Fall 04:14
i used to brace for the excitement of impossibility but suggestion can be met with such hostility there are things i'm grateful for and reflect on with a certain pity i don't miss wandering with sickness through the open city or nervous break downs, or frivolity the fall of my demon, my hopeless misery it's just human nature, it's just human nature it isn't your fault, that's what they all said it's just human nature, it's just human nature if that was the case, we'd all be in this place they lie, they lie i think less fondly of uncivilized unnatural feelings since i was able to relieve myself of dirty dealings and still i wonder how my life could have ended up being had i continued on a path of lies and drugs and stealing the fall of my demon, my constant skin peeling the needle drugs, that fix, that sting, the devil's ceiling the fall of my demon, it is so unappealing to think about, to re-enact, to know it was me i almost lost it all it's just human nature, it's just human nature it isn't your fault, that's what they all said it's just human nature, it's just human nature if that was the case, we'd all be in this place it's just human nature, it's just human nature it isn't your fault, that's what they all said they lie, they lie i hope if nothing else my son learns one thing from my mistakes no pills, no heroin, no opiates, not even one chance because i couldn't stand to see what my wife saw in me in my flesh and blood with a predisposition thanks to his dear old dad thanks to his dear old dad but i'm still his dear old dad 'cause i could have been his dead old dad
16.
17.
i came home and heard you cry so i walked into the room and when i looked up on the bed your bags were out, your clothes were packed, you're leaving is it something i did is it something i said is it something i can change but you said it's not your fault, mistakes are mine, i'm broken you covered your mouth i can't hear what you're saying but i can guess you're walking away and i guess you just can't stay don't let your history repeat itself, you're not the girl, you once were you covered your mouth i can't hear what you're saying and you covered your face but i can hear you praying you don't have to go i can see what's happened no judgements passed you covered your mouth i can't hear what you're saying and you covered your face but i can hear you praying but you don't have to speak i know that you're not staying
18.
Sticky 03:26

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Composed of synthesizers, samples, drum machines and noise, this is the first all digital release from the Tampa band. Dealing with issues from heroin addiction to spousal abuse follow the normal standard for the band in the most powerful album to date!

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released May 4, 2014

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Mortimer Nova Florida

Mortimer Nova is an experimental indie / anti-folk / indietronic group fronted by Michael Vilches based out of the Tampa Bay area in Florida. Mortimer Nova was ranked #14 on Non-Hollywood's "25 Indie Music Artists Worth Paying For" poll in 2014.

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